Sometimes I get so mad, I just want to be mad. I wallow in my own madness and anger feeling sorry for myself. Without any clue why I do this, I make myself more upset by pointing out what else might be wrong with my day, or my week, or my month.
What I just said does sound over-the-top, but surely I am not the only one who feels like they do this. When I'm mad, I just want to be mad for a while. I don't want someone to try to make me feel better.
It is in these times that I find it the most difficult to find the best in a situation. Or to see how possibly the Lord, in his vast and confusing ways of communicating with us, could be blessing me or meeting my needs at that time. Never would I think that it could be a test of staying in continual communication with Him in order to accept the difficult times and walk through them with Him.
Yesterday's devotional read:
I remember sitting in my 8th grade Confirmation classes having to recite the Lord's Prayer over and over again. After a while the words started sinking in and I started to break it down. It no longer became something I memorized so I could actually speak with the congregation when the pastor says "Let us pray" but something that, for me, is my little communion every day. I have taught myself over the years to say it slowly. Each line, one at a time.
What popped into my head were the times when I allowed myself to be pulled out of the depths of my own negativity to say the Lord's Prayer. When I can't seem to put my frustrations into coherent thoughts to tell Him, I say the Lord's Prayer. When I can't seem to find something to give Him thanks about, I say the Lord's Prayer. When I can't seem to set my pride aside, I say the Lord's Prayer. When I can't seem forgive, I say the Lord's Prayer.
"Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those to trespass against us" is the part that always brings me back to earth. I want to mean each line and think for a second about what it means. The result of doing this surpasses my comprehension of what He is capable of. It might take a few repetitions but, the peace that overcomes me is amazing.
By no means do I have the solution for staying in communication with Him and making sure each day is better than the next. But, I do know this devotional helped me get through today and reminded me of why I always recite that prayer. It can be difficult to see to blessings around you but each time my frustrations set in, the prayers come out.
I would love to know what this devotional reminded you of and what it means to you. Do you find it easy to pray in difficult times? Do you find it hard? Is it hard for you to see the blessing that are around you?
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